Dragon Fantasy Humour

Vainqueur Knightsbane is your average dragon: A giant, fire-breathing lizard who loves to take naps on his golden hoard, kidnap princesses for fun, and make the life of adventurers miserable. Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time. So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes", "levels", and "quests", Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change. After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?

To earn a pardon and avoid prison or execution, Timmy, Grand Necromancer and Lord of Black Tower Castle, has been completing missions for the Council with the help of an elite team of truly heroic individuals. There’s Katie, his apprentice. She’s brilliant, cunning, and maniacally devious. She’s also 10 years old, extremely adorable, and loves billowy robes and the color pink. There’s Avraniel, the pyromaniac elf who is responsible for more property damage than anyone in Everton’s history (including dragons, natural disasters, and demon gods).

Mysterious incidents are wreaking havoc throughout Camp Jupiter. And if the Romans don't find out who - or what - is behind the episodes soon, the Twelfth Legion could implode. Suspicion falls on Claudia, the Fourth Cohort's newest probatio. To find out the truth, see through Claudia's eyes the crime scenes and watch as the bizarre events unfold - even when she discovers a secret that holds the key to Camp Jupiter's safety....

I never thought I would date a dragon, or feed him chicken strips late at night, but life has gotten interesting. My steady dragon - you may know him as Lord Zavryd’nokquetal, but I get to call him Zav - is offering to take me to the elven homeland to meet my father and learn to harness the magic in my blood. Sure, I’m wary about his plans to force the elves to train me, but I need every advantage I can get. Especially when vampire attacks start cropping up all over Seattle, and my friend and business partner, Dimitri, disappears.

As time runs down for the players trapped by the evil Lich-Lord in the hyper-realistic MMORPG Fantasy Realms Online, Kromgorn the Barbarian is still stuck playing as the gorgeous, pleasure-fueled Lacey the Courtesan, a character designed to level fastest when she’s getting busy with every NPC in sight. The action is hot, the stakes are high, and Lacey will need to pull out every skill she can muster if she wants to win the day.

It's a question as old as time itself: which is better, the zombie or the unicorn? In this anthology, edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier (unicorn and zombie, respectively), strong arguments are made for both sides in the form of short stories. Half of the stories portray the strengths - for good and evil - of unicorns and half show the good (and really, really bad-ass) side of zombies.

Fairy is a unicorn. Now, that’s not so strange. But her powerful farts, please avoid at close range. Her farts are a burst of pink rainbow dust. But run away fast, if she lets one bust. Share this farting tale with loved ones. Adults are permitted to laugh, too.

Journey from fantasy mountains to super-cities, through piratical seas and up into space without missing any must-see sights - or putting a foot wrong with the locals! Whether you’re lord of the shoestring-budget or Luxe Skywalker - Notes from Small Planets is your pastiche passport through the best worlds of science fiction and fantasy. Your ultimate travel guide to all the must-see locations in the worlds of science fiction and fantasy.

The Stryx offer EarthCent help in reaching out to the wide-spread human communities, but as usual, it comes with a catch or two. Kelly see an opportunity to increase her book hoard, just as publishing on Union Station begins to take off and Donna's daughters enter a friendly competition. But who will publish the most expensive book of all?

Hi. I am Brandon Thighmaster. Monk. Hero. Inspiration. I enjoy crunching, squats, looking at myself, looking at other people looking at myself, and long walks on the beach. I also do adventures and stuff, and I guess you can read about them here. But enough about you, let's talk about me. Brandon Thighmaster.

In the mystical realm of Bríandalör, every day the brave and the bold delve into hidden temples or forgotten dungeons, battling vile monsters and evil wizards to loot their treasure hoards for sweet, sweet magic items. But in their free time, our heroes - Thromdurr the mighty barbarian, Devis the shifty thief, Vela the noble paladin, Sorrowshade the Gloom Elf assassin, and Albiorix the (good!) wizard - need to relax and unwind. That’s why they meet up once a week to play a role-playing game where they assume the characters of average American eighth graders.

It's autumn 2001, and a fire-breathing dragon is destroying London. With most of her military overseas, the Queen decides to do what previous Queens would've done and call in her Knights! The only problem is that the Queen has only knighted celebrities.

Hudson, Madison, and Kai are thrilled when they come across something that shouldn't even exist yet in the new world of PrimeVerse: a village! Finally, they will have time to slow down and take a break. Or not. They can't gain entry without first completing a challenging quest that the villagers couldn't. Nothing is ever easy, is it? Especially when their quest takes them into uncharted territory: a dungeon with a hard and fast death limit.

When their Landlord is persuaded to have his life story recorded for posterity, the surprises come thick and fast. Just like his regulars, you too can learn how a three-headed ogre came to be a hero. Unlike them, you don't stand to be killed if it all goes wrong....

What does a three-headed ogre do when they are banned from being a hero? Why, apply to be a henchman of The Dark Lord, of course. Prepare yourself for a story of evil plans and dark deeds, as Og-Grim-Dog discovers whether a life of villainy is really all it’s cracked up to be.

A new species has jumped into the Sol system for a quick look, leading the Stryx to assign humans to the greeting mission. Dorothy and Kevin leave on a trading mission in his new ship, bringing the dog, and Samuel and Vivian start at the Open University.

This is a humorous, episodic novel of dark fantasy and science fiction, composed of the four novellas Amy and the Ankylosaurus, Helen and the Evil Elves of the Elder Gods, Sithe in the City, and Dragon vs Dinosaur. It begins when Magnus creates a device to open portals to other quantum universes so he can show his ex-girlfriend, Amy, real dinosaurs. This goes awry when Amy goes through the portal and he has to rescue her, accompanied by his fellow scientist Helen, Amy's best friend.

Van Vanyushin doesn't see the point in ever leaving the beautiful digital world of the game he loves - and for good reason. In the industrial wasteland he calls home, it is often the only way people can experience life's simplest pleasures. But his allegiance to the game is tested when an ambitious CIA agent named Sang Ngo calls upon him to help as she goes undercover in the game to investigate Draco - the corporation responsible for creating the massively popular role-playing game Dragon Kings of the New World.

While Kelly struggles to come up with a research project to apply for sabbatical, the role-playing craze reaches Union Station, and the Open University offers a for-credit LARP. Dorothy finally finishes her wedding dress with a technical flourish, and Jeeves plots to recoup his costs.

Ahh, the Old Kingdom. Come and pet our angry, fire-breathing dragons. Take a dip with mighty sea serpents in our lovely warm seas. Play catch-the-arrow with merry elven warriors. Drink beer* with the dwarves. For an unforgettable experience, the Old Kingdom is the ideal destination for your next holiday. Survival is optional, and highly unlikely. *Similarity to actual beer not guaranteed.