Showing results by narrator "Joe Thomas" in All Categories

Björn has been given an ultimatum: repair his work-life balance, or his wife Katharina will leave him - and take their daughter. He reluctantly starts a mindfulness class and to his surprise, it's a revelation. He becomes calmer, more focused, and he's starting to understand what's really important in life. So when his client and brutal crime boss Dragan Sergowicz tries to interfere with his precious family time, Björn remembers his new-found goal to find serenity - and kills him.

Luke and his brother have swapped bodies by accident. Zack's got Luke's weird feet while Luke has Zack's superpowers! Now he needs another world-threatening adventure to try them out. Could a family mini-break at Great Minds Leisure Park be his chance? Probably, because that's where his super-clever arch-enemy lurks, fermenting dastardly plans and bubbling gently.... My Arch-Enemy Is a Brain In a Jar is the fourth instalment of Luke's laugh-out-loud adventures.

Luke is a comic-mad 11-year-old who shares a tree house with his geeky older brother, Zack. Luke's only mistake is to go for a wee right at the wrong time. While he's gone, an alien gives his undeserving, never-read-a-comic-in-his-life brother superpowers and then tells him to save the universe. Luke is massively annoyed about this, but when Zack is kidnapped by his archnemesis, Luke and his friends have only five days to find him and save the world.... Hilariously narrated by Joe Thomas.

Zack and Lara have superpowers. Luke has new school shoes and a burning sense of resentment. He KNOWS that aliens disguised as gym teachers are about to attack Earth, but will anyone listen? No. So one dodgy pact with a self-styled supervillain later, and Luke is ready to save the world. He just needs to find his trainers. My Gym Teacher Is an Alien Overlord is the action-packed sequel to the best-selling My Brother Is a Superhero.

When Luke is confronted with Stellar, his superpowered twin from another dimension, he is highly suspicious. No one travels through time and space without a plan, and that plan is usually evil. So what does Stellar want? And why is he so unbelievably irritating? From his superhero hair to his rocket-powered shoes, Stellar is up to no good, and Luke must bring him down! Hilariously narrated by Joe Thomas, star of The Inbetweeners and Fresh Meat.

Deep beneath the ice of the Arctic Circle, something has awakened. A primordial creature frozen in time, it is the oldest, largest, most efficient predator that nature has ever produced. And it is ravenously hungry.... Thirty-five miles off the Massachusetts coast, a small research ship is attacked. All but one of its crew is killed by the massive serpentine horror that rises from the sea. The creature likes this human prey. The chewy outer hide. The tender saltiness within. And it wants more....

Luke’s dad has bought a lot of gadgets recently, and not one of them works as it’s supposed to. Maybe it’s because a machine-from-the-future is stalking Bromley, playing havoc with all the tech and trying to stop Star Lad going on a date. Could this be the Rise of the Machines? Luke knows what he must do - he just needs his fellow SCARF members to help, or it will be the end of everything....

As a young man, Kelvin Knight Hackleberry proved to be the Roundear of the Prophecy: He liberated his own Kingdom of Rud from the cruel usurper Zoanna, and then went on to defeat the evil king Rowforth in the alternate world of Hud. But now Zoanna and Rowforth have joined forces to take revenge on Kelvin -- and they intend to have it through his unborn child.

A tale of an unexpected friendship, an unlikely hero, and an improbable journey, Alex's story treads the fine line between light and dark, laughter and tears. And it might just strike you as one of the funniest, most heartbreaking novels you've ever heard. Alex Woods knows that he hasn't had the most conventional start in life. He knows that growing up with a clairvoyant single mother won't endear him to the local bullies. He also knows that even the most improbable events can happen - he's got the scars to prove it. What he doesn't know yet is that when he meets ill-tempered, reclusive widower Mr Peterson, he'll make an unlikely friend.

Meet Brooke: a bisexual Bridget Jones, a millennial Meg Ryan, a girl standing in front of a boy asking him—wait, it doesn’t have to be a boy? For Brooke, ‘The One’ could be anyone. As long as it’s the type of (actually highly problematic) movie love she’s watched on repeat since she was a little girl. Brooke writes algorithms for a dating app, which is odd given what a hopeless romantic she is.

On a hot summer night in Montauk, the bodies of two local bar patrons are discovered in the dunes, torn to shreds, their identities unrecognizable.... In another part of town, a woman's backyard is invaded by four terrifying creatures that defy any kind of description. What's clear is that they're hostile - and they're ravenous....

Private first-class Wayson Harris was raised in a U.A. orphanage among thousands of clones born and bred as the ultimate soldiers. But Harris isn't like the other Marines: He has a mind of his own. He figures he's paying for that independent streak when his first assignment out of boot camp is the smallest Marine outpost in the whole U.A. When a rogue general surfaces, the remote desert world Harris thought was a dead-end posting becomes anything but. Fighting off the general's raid gains Harris a promotion. But it also brings him to the attention of some unfriendly U.A. leaders.

Gavin’s got a new neighbour and she’s really annoying. Niki follows him everywhere, bosses him about and doesn’t care that her parents will obliterate Earth with their galactic warships if she doesn’t stop running away from them. Can Niki and Gavin sort out the alien despots (aka Mum and Dad) and save the planet? Possibly. Will they become friends along the way? Doubtful.

It's 1999. Martin Hill is ten years old, crazy about Arsenal and has a minor crush on a girl named Betty. Then he makes it to the final two in the casting for Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. In the end, the other boy is picked for the role of a lifetime. A devastated Martin tries to move on with his life. But how can he escape his failure, especially when it's the most famous film series in the world?

The fourth book in Adrian Mole's diaries, where we catch up with a hapless Adrian and his desperate attempts to win back the love of his life.

On honeymoon in Bali, you hit it off with another newlywed couple and celebrate your last night at a fancy cliff-side restaurant. No one predicted the evening would end with a dead body. But it was an accident, right? A tragic accident. The honeymoon may be over but it soon becomes clear that there's another side to this story...and your life depends on uncovering it. Many marriages can survive anything – but when it starts on a lie is it really 'til death do us part?

Adrian Mole is an adult. At least that's what it says on his passport. But living at home, clinging to his threadbare cuddly rabbit 'Pinky', working as a paper pusher for the DoE and pining for the love of his life, Pandora, has proved to him that adulthood isn't quite what he expected.

As a master spy, Gallatin has proved he can take on formidable foes - and kill them. As a passionate lover, he attracts beautiful women. But there is one extra factor that makes Michael Gallatin a unique special agent - he is a werewolf, able to change form almost at will, able to assume the body of a wolf and its capacity to kill with savage, snarling fury. In the madness of war, Gallatin hunts his prey - ready to outthink his opponents with his finely tuned brain. Or tear their throats out with his finely honed teeth....

In this comprehensive anthology, former Poet Laureate Andrew Motion has gathered together exceptional poems from the 14th century through to the present day, creating an extraordinary poetic journey for the listener. From the love poems of Shelley and Keats to the grim war elegies of Owen and Sassoon, there is a poem here for every sentiment, each with something different to offer.

Mankind has ceded the night to the corelings, demons that rise up out of the ground each day at dusk, killing and destroying at will until dawn, when the sun banishes them back to the Core. As darkness falls, the world’s few surviving humans hide behind magical wards, praying the magic can see them through another night. As years pass, the distances between each tiny village seem longer and longer. It seems nothing can harm the corelings, or bring humanity back together.