Something Shiny: ADHD!

By: David Kessler & Isabelle Richards
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  • Summary

  • How many times have you tried to understand ADHD...and were left feeling more misunderstood? We get it and we're here to help you build a shiny new relationship with ADHD. We are two therapists (David Kessler & Isabelle Richards) who not only work with people with ADHD, but we also have ADHD ourselves and have been where you are. Every other week on Something Shiny, you'll hear (real) vulnerable conversations, truth bombs from the world of psychology, and have WHOA moments that leave you feeling seen, understood, and...dare we say...knowing you are something shiny, just as you are.
    2021 Something Shiny Productions
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Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
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Episodes
  • Do we really need labels like ADHD and AuDHD? - Neuropsychs Explored Part III

    Do we really need labels like ADHD and AuDHD? - Neuropsychs Explored Part III
    Apr 2 2025
    Isabelle and David continue to explore how an official ADHD or autism or AuDHD diagnosis might be a useful bridge to belong to a community. But what about the people who see these labels as pathologizing, including famous ADHD researchers like Dr. Russell Barkely? David and Isabelle explore some of the ways that thinking of ADHD from the negatives only and leaves people using the label not as a tool for empowerment, self-understanding, and advocacy--but as an excuse. Furthermore, what about labels like "Asperger's" (low-support need/high-masking autism) that has its roots in Nazi extermination camps? Neuropsychs Explored Part III.---The pro to identifying as having ADHD that David now understands, that he didn't understand years ago, was that it allows you to fit into a culture and a group differently. He walked into a room in his 30’s (at an Eye-to-Eye conference) and found himself fitting in. David needed the label to understand himself. He brings up Dr. Russell Barkley and his research—Isabelle jumps in with a factoid about Barkley’s twin who had ADHD and addiction issues and died in a car accident…which helps give her context for why Barkley is so big on ADHD being a risk factor while driving. David wants to make it clear—it is a tragic story, and he’s not about casting anyone as evil or bad—but Barkeley’s work does do a number on people’s self esteem. They look at his research and think they can’t change and they start to use ADHD as an excuse, not an explanation. It’s important to have compassion for people, he does talk a lot about addiction and car crashes, and we all have sad parts of our past, and its what we do now that matters. When he’s talking to a room for non-ADHDers, they tend to think that people with ADHD are less, rather than more. He likes folk music and David likes rap, and David is not going to pretend to like folk music. Isabelle names that she tries to make sense of something so dehumanizing, like the six hour training she sat through of his that left her in tears, gaining some context for his story gave her a chance to reduce how slimed she felt. Knowing why does decrease suffering. Isabelle has seen a lot of hostility and backlash about AuDHD. Autism is a spectrum—yes, there are non speakers and folks with high support needs. But maybe it was what back in the day was called Asperger’s, a now unused term. David names that Dr. Asperger was a Nazi (sympathizer?) Who created a line around autism (essentially how high-masking someone was) that determined who lived and died. For more on this deep history of Asperger — check out the links below. Isabelle and David agree to have a way longer conversation on the history of neurodivergence. Isabelle talks more about her neuropsych assessment, including sample questions, and fill in the blank type sentences to write. And she was given a questionnaire to give to someone who knows her well—for kids, this might be both to caregivers and teachers, so they can get data about how the kid is functioning in multiple environments. Isabelle then waits, gets a twenty-some page document, and they sit down and cover it all. Isabelle has in the months between first hearing the neuropsychologist state that she meets criteria for autism, confirming her suspicions, she went on a deep dive on all these pieces of information. Isabelle felt the fear of having this diagnosis taken away from her felt so deeply. It was so hard, even just listening to the summary, she wanted to skip to the end (another autistic trait, she is learning, wanting to know the context so she can track what’s being described or knowing where it’s going), and she yes, she has autism, and she burst into tears. Isabelle finally has an answer to the riddle, which a chunk of it related to ADHD, but this is another part of the mystery, like she has been looking in funhouse mirrors her whole life, and now she has an accurate reflection of who she is, like a real, non-distorted mirror. She also has “severe” ADHD. David and Isabelle dig in with how negative this criteria is (which, side note, connects to Barkley’s research). Are we weather systems? Are we severely awesome? Maybe we change it to extremely? Gah. Asperger’s and the history of neurodivergence Articles and books on Dr. Russell Barkley Known as a big researcher of ADHD, does really good research, and pushes forward a lot of diagnostic criteria and is in a position of power changing the game for a lot of humans. The caveat that Isabelle and David often make is that: he takes a really doom and gloom, pathologizing perspective (which are scary research-based bits of information). Asperger’s Autism: you have 40% chance of ADHD, and then DEFINITIONSNote: “Neuropsych” is shorthand for BOTH a neuropsychological assessment or a neuropsychologist (which is confusing).Neuropsychologist is "an expert in how brain injuries and conditions affect your behavior, mood and thinking skills. ...
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    20 mins
  • How can you trust the world when the world doesn't get you? - Neuropsychs Explored Part II

    How can you trust the world when the world doesn't get you? - Neuropsychs Explored Part II
    Mar 26 2025
    David and Isabelle go into greater depth about neuropsychological assessments--both back in the day and now-for kids, and for adults--and Isabelle's AHA moment about self-disclosing her AuDHD self. From the odd history of the intersection of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and ADHD (did you know you couldn't be diagnosed with both for a long long time?) to realizing how literally she takes the world and how much it helps to finally have a turn signal on the car that is her, David and Isabelle dive deep into unmasking and the mistrust we have for the world when we are so misunderstood.---Isabelle likes having her new neuropsychological results because someone who is not her got to tell her that she has autism, and David has a different experience. His story was like three different hours of testing done at school, and it spit out that he was Oppositional Defiant, and then only in college did it notice he had differences in spelling and then ADHD. His experience is watching clients have their kids be flagged by a pediatrician or teacher to be tested and then they want to retest themselves. But David is so scared he’d go in now and learn…he doesn’t have ADHD? And that Isabelle actually understands this, because there was a big gap (of several months) between the interview and the tests. Isabelle goes into further details around how she took her test in a little cubicle. And how for kids, it looks more like play, it involves an IQ test and way more details about processing speed, working memory, visual spatial reasoning, reading, symbols, numbers, etc. to help with understanding learning differences and accommodations. So Isabelle had to sit in a cubicle and stare at a computer and click on a mouse for fifteen minutes and it was awful. When he was a kid, David was pulled from class, he had no idea how long it was going to take, there was a person sitting there who was reading from a book and asking him questions. For kids, a level of buy-in becomes very important, it’s hard to get data when you’re a willing participant. For David, his first neuropsych showed how unwilling he was to participate, because it was something he was forced to do because there was “something wrong” and they were looking for what was wrong. This is not don’t like this anymore. It’s important to talk to someone who has been assessed to see how they liked their assessment. You can get a second opinion. There are people who specialize in different areas of neuropsychological testing. And someone who is great at diagnosing ADHD may not be great at diagnosing autism or vice versa. And up until 7 years ago or so, it was impossible to have both autism and ADHD be a primary diagnosis; which connected to insurance company lobbying when the DSM was being updated, ensuring that the rates of certain conditions wouldn’t skyrocket because that would impact insurance coverage and ability to cover/deny and all kinds of political and social isms. The history of diagnoses and what makes the cutoffs incorporates layers of ableism, racism, sexism, homophobia…all kinds of oppression. David names how important it was an opening when you could have a combined AuDHD diagnosis because it started to mean that these diagnoses of deficiency, and all the stereotypes around all autistics being nonspeakers or having high support needs, started to get busted and it became more encompassing, maybe even of strengths? It’s possible for us to be complex beings, being perceived as having ADHD or autism in another context. We are the keepers of the stigma, it was the ‘last thing we wanted to be.’ The other day, Isabelle’s kid went to the doctor, and she always felt the doctor was annoyed with her for being so literal and asking so many detail-oriented questions. Her kid answered the doctor’s question of “does your throat hurt?” By checking in and saying “No.” And she had a lightbulb flash and realized he was taking the doctor literally. So she tells her kid “You and me, we both take things really literally and answer questions extremely honestly. I think the doctor means when she asks if your throat hurts, she means across the last week or so and not necessarily all the time or right now.” And he answers, “YES!” And she saw the doctor warm up to her kid and to her and she felt the difference, and maybe it was the vulnerability or the disclosure. For David's friend, there was a significant amount of distrust in the world, there was a pattern of miscommunication and people asking you things that they don’t mean, when they learned they were autistic, their last instinct was to tell someone. But when they came back from the dentist, they talked about how much the light was bothering them, they gave me some glasses and made it so much better. David can't make us all believe we are safe, we can feel cared for when we tell people what we need and they respond. Statistically, some of the time, your need won't be missed and until...
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    21 mins
  • What is a neuropsych anyway? What is AuDHD? - Neuropsychs Explored Part I

    What is a neuropsych anyway? What is AuDHD? - Neuropsychs Explored Part I
    Mar 19 2025
    Isabelle shares the results of her neuropsych with David: she is AuDHD! As a grown human learning she has AuDHD (ADHD + Autism Spectrum Disorder), what does it mean to 'get a neuropsych?' What even IS a neuropsych? Who gets one and why? How does high-masking autism look like for Isabelle? Busting myths, calling out fun factoids, and celebrating this news and the decrease of suffering it has brought to gain self-understanding and acceptance. ---Isabelle is SO EXCITED to see David's face. Because for the last few recording sessions she hasn’t been able to see his face. And now she can see his face. She doesn’t know she misses it, and David is wagging his tail and doesn’t know if she’s making any sense. The checking for understanding is missing. Isabelle got back her neuropsychological assessment results back. She has “severe” ADHD and also, is high-masking autistic. A fairly common question is: do I need to get a neuropsych? What does it do? David names we can all know something but this is different from the actual experience of it. Are there electrodes to your head? (no) How many magnets are you exposed to? (none) Is there a flowchart? Isabelle doesn’t know a ton about assessments but she knows a little more now. So, for each job title or profession, you can administer different types of assessments, which involve data from interviews, and written/verbal tests—and a “neuropsychiatric assessment” is conducted by a neuropsychologist, someone who is skilled at administering and interpreting test results as well as being super savvy about neuroscience and the brain. It’s a battery of tests that is designed to help someone determine a psychological diagnosis (and how a diagnosis impacts your thinking, behavior, feelings, functioning, etc.). Isabelle’s experience was, she had used up her deductible and one of her kids as well as her and Bobby decided they wanted to learn more about themselves and get a neuropsych. And she wanted to test it out because she always had a little more mustard on the hot dog of ADHD, more auditory sensory stuff. So Isabelle went in for about an hour long interview and asked me a lot of directive, specific questions. No electrodes, sitting in a cozy office. She was asking questions about friendship, life history type questions about her childhood. With ADHD and Autism, you’re talking about neurodevelopmental conditions, meaning it’s baked in and showing up throughout your life. She was asking a lot of questions about what it was like for Isabelle socially, the years of bullying and taking things very literally, social faux pas, being late to catch on to social subtext or data. And stimming? Which applies to all neurospicy folk. David likens it to a car exhaust—it’s not anxiety, it’s repetitive movements that let out extra steam and overstimulation, when your senses have taking in too much it helps you release. Isabelle thought it was anxiety! But she…actually isn't very anxious. She likes wearing tight clothes and textures, she flaps her hands and holds her hands like a t-rex. She’s realizing how much she would be overloaded after a day, and she would pace, and wiggle her hands, she needs detailed handwriting, and she just wants to be left alone under her weighted blanket. And be crying. She’d say “and I'm overhwlemed because I had a hard day at work!” When for her, she was missing a crucial piece of information. Which is she went to Target, and was under fluorescent lights, and some random stranger talked to her and she didn’t understand it, and then when she said “what?” He looked at her funny, and THAT connected more to the state she found herself in than having a bad day at work. Sitting with uncomfortable feelings and anxiety is different—David names that with anxiety, people can be thought of as fragile, and that can be helpful—but when it’s applied to someone who is neurodiverse, who isn’t fragile, it can be pretty frustrating. David describes how he sits and bounces his leg pretty fast and his whole body will be shaking (best kind!) And David is sitting there stimming, and people turn to him "it's okay, it’s just a doctor's office” and they assume he's anxious, but he’as actually in an ADHD stupor and he’s bored and waiting and feeling good. So much of how people are perceived has a significant element of judgment. Over and over again because she's sitting still or pacing or rocking on her feet—they read Isabelle as impatient or angry, blew her mind. When you see her rocking back and forth and expressionless she's super happy and chill, but you take it as a signal she needs to mask and explain and do things to signal she’s happy and sometimes she doesn’t understand it herself so she just says “yes, I am angry.” And she thought she was a liar—because she’d be dishonest, she’d agree with someone else and say “yeah, I’m antsy.” Even if she wasn’t. David points out that that’s not ...
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    27 mins

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