We often think confidence comes from trusting our instincts, but what if those gut reactions are actually holding us back?

Sometimes, we make snap judgments about people, situations, or even ourselves, without giving things a real chance. And those assumptions can stop us from experiencing real connection, growth, or opportunities.

Take my recent Portugal trip, for example. I met a couple I thought I had nothing in common with—different backgrounds, beliefs, everything. My initial reaction was to dismiss them. But guess what? They ended up becoming close friends.

That experience taught me that confidence isn’t about making fast decisions or sticking to what’s comfortable. It’s about being open, curious, and giving yourself—and others—a chance.

We all have biases, often based on past experiences or fear of looking foolish. But when we question those assumptions, we find out they’re often false. Confidence is about stepping beyond those fear walls, giving new things time to settle, and trusting that the discomfort won’t last forever.

True confidence grows when we stop relying on those quick, fear-based decisions and start being more intentional about the opportunities we let in. So next time, instead of saying “no” right away, ask yourself why. You might be surprised at what you find on the other side.

So if you’re ready to look beneath the surface and make better decisions for yourself, this episode is for you. Tune in, challenge your biases, and let’s grow that confidence together!

Ever catch yourself putting on a brave face or carefully picking which parts of your life to show out of fear of ridicule or rejection? This “hiding” behavior is something we all do to varying degrees depending on vulnerabilities and the fear that drives it, isn’t protecting us as much as we want to believe. In fact, “hiding” can really mess with our personal growth and stand in the way of forging real connections with others.

So, when I had the chance to talk with Ruth Rathblott—TEDx speaker, former CEO, and a powerhouse advocate for inclusion—about this concept of “unhiding”, I jumped at the chance because as terrifying as it sounds, you know that self-liberation is waiting for you on the other side.

For Ruth, her “hiding” came in the form of drawing attention away from having a limb difference that makes navigating a world where disability is often overlooked in conversations a real challenge. For you, it may be choosing to keep any trauma, personal, financial or other emotionally-charged struggles under wraps.

Our caveman brains tell us that “hiding” protects us, keeps us safe within the tribe, but in the modern world this behavior is a form of self-isolation, which is the opposite of the authentic connect we think we’re trying to protect.

Ruth and I get into all of this more during our conversation. Highlights from our time together include:

• The universal nature of hiding and its impact on mental and physical health
• How to take the reins away from your insecurities and own your personal narrative
• The ways vulnerability connect us and lead to deeper, more meaningful interactions; and
• Ruth’s four-step framework for overcoming your own tendency to hide

Ruth Rathblott’s experiences and advice offer valuable lessons on embracing one’s full identity and fostering genuine belonging. I’m excited for you to hear our conversation and learn from Ruth’s journey and insights. For more on Ruth and her work, visit RuthRathblott.com and connect with her on LinkedIn.

Let’s talk about something that we all grapple with but don’t always acknowledge—control.

Yeah, that word might hit you in different ways depending on how you see it. For some, control sounds like a bad thing, a power trip, or even manipulation. But for others, it's a way to bring order, efficiency, and clarity into their lives.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, especially after someone once called me a “control freak.” I was offended, and I bet you would be too. But the more I dug into it, the more I realized control isn’t all bad. In fact, it’s something we all do, whether we like to admit it or not. And guess what? It can be a force for good, not just for us, but for the people around us.

Imagine walking into a restaurant and being genuinely nice to your server. What happens? They’re likely to respond with the same kindness, right? In that moment, you're controlling the interaction in a positive way. It’s not manipulative; it’s human nature.

The way we act can directly influence how others behave. That’s control, but it’s also compassion, connection, and confidence in action.

Control isn’t the enemy—it’s a tool— and in this episode of Real Confidence I’m going to show you how it’s a force for good. And when you know how to do that, you’ll want to let your control freak flag fly!