Real Confidence

By: Alyssa Dver
  • Summary

  • Real confidence isn't situational or temporary. It's a learned skill that anyone can master at any time. Join host Alyssa Dver, CEO of The American Confidence Institute, 7-time author, 2-time TEDx and empowering keynote speaker as she demystifies the science and social secrets that strengthen and protect our most valuable asset. Learn specifically how to productively deal with difficult family, de-energizing friends, bully bosses, plus other confidence villains and kryptonite. Empower yourself and everyone you care about with more, real confidence.
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Episodes
  • EP 95: Real Confidence- Why Nostalgia Hurts Your Confidence
    Dec 22 2024

    I almost titled this episode “I Want My Bubble Back” and no, I don’t mean the pandemic lockdown days. I mean the good old days.

    Or maybe I should say “my good old days” because we all have a version of those, when life seemed simpler, no matter our age. For me it was playing outside all day, coming home after dark, biking everywhere and worrying about little more than which what jeans were currently cool.

    Ah, nostalgia.

    But there’s the thing: those memories we cherish? They’re not necessarily accurate. Our brains love to soften the hard stuff, filter out the struggles, and create a highlight reel that doesn’t tell the whole story.

    Our brains also want to tell us that our current challenges and struggles are harder than ever, but the truth is that challenges and struggles have always been part of our lives. Little ones—like sharing a curly cord, landline with your entire family, to big ones, like learning to navigate life after 9/11.

    The thing I want us all to remember is that if we got through those, we have what it takes to do it again. We didn’t get through those times because we believed they were somehow easier. We got through them because we’re stronger than we think.

    Tune in as I riff on the tricks our brains play on us, how those rose-colored glasses we view the past through are hurting us and how we can use our “good old days” memories instead to supercharge our confidence today.

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    9 mins
  • EP 94: Real Confidence- Building Teen Confidence with Special Guest Emily McCavanagh
    Dec 8 2024

    It wasn’t that long ago that my sons were in their teens and the world has changed so much even since then. Teens face more and different challenges than we could have imagined when we were their age, and those challenges are doing a number on their confidence.

    What’s one of the biggest confidence crises they’re facing today?

    I had a fascinating conversation with Emily McCavanagh—fitness expert, teen confidence coach, and overall powerhouse—about that very thing. If you’re a parent, coach, or anyone who cares about the next generation, you’ll want to tune in, because we tackled that and so much more because while you might be tempted to point the finger at social media, that’s only part of it.

    Sure, scrolling can lead to that toxic comparison game, but Emily peeled back the layers and got to the heart of it: teens are terrified of failing. And when you're too scared to fail, you never take the risks that build real confidence.

    What I love about Emily’s work is how she flips the script on leadership. Her teen athlete Captain’s Collaborative program isn’t about being the toughest or most talented—it’s about being compassionate, courageous, and consistent. It’s leadership with heart, and it’s a total game-changer for young athletes who are expected to lead just because they’re good at their sport.

    Spoiler alert: being really good at something doesn’t mean you’re inevitably confident at it!

    Emily is on a mission to create a new generation of leaders—ones who aren't just strong on the field but empathetic, courageous, and ready to lift others up. And come on - who doesn’t want more of that in the world?

    Highlights from our conversation include:

    • How the fear of failure cripples teen confidence
    • Why they—and we—should focus on their unique strengths rather than their “win-loss” record
    • Flipping the script on what leadership means (it’s more than talent, by the way); and
    • A powerful question parents or any adult can ask that sends the subtle message about winning and inspires confidence at the same time

    https://www.facebook.com/emily.mccavanagh/

    https://www.instagram.com/trainwithfitmethod/

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    20 mins
  • EP 93: Real Confidence- 5 Phrases that Crush Confidence
    Nov 24 2024

    I’m going to call BS on something we probably all heard as kids: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.

    I know we were all taught this rhyme to shut bullies up, but words do matter, and we don’t always appreciate how much.

    Especially when they’re coming out of our mouths and we mean well – we truly do – but how they land has the opposite effect.

    I’m as guilty of this as anyone. And it took me a really long time to realize how my good intentions could take someone’s confidence down instead of building it up, not just because of what I said, but how I said it and in what context.

    I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I’ve zeroed in on five phrases that have the ability to kill our confidence when we hear them, and kill someone else’s when we say them.

    These phrases seem benign but even when they’re offered in the spirit of support or helpfulness, can create fear. Fear of failure, regret or rejection – the three fears that really make us all question our confidence.

    Listen in to find out what the phrases are, what you can say instead and/or respond confidently when someone says them to you. That way we can all try and be a little more compassionate to ourselves and to other people who do intend well, but don't always have the right words to tell us.

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    20 mins

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