Thoughtful, vulnerable & beautiful

Truly enjoyed this book. It’s sexy, intelligent and entertaining. Sophie’s voice bring complex issues such as gender, sex and trauma into a space we can consider and reflect on. Non-negotiable read for everyone to reflect upon the relationship they have with themselves and with others, particularly those that mainstream heteronormative society conceals. It’s thoughtful, vulnerable, sensitive and sexy!

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Funny and thoughtful

Fantastic insights, includung for people who are currently in sexual relationships. Devoured this in 2 days

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the honesty and relatable reflections

I enjoyed listening to the stories, meetings and interviews told in this book and the reflections throughout.

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The book EVERYONE needs

Sofie has achieved something incredible. As an individual who has been celibate (and happily so) for a long time I was curious to read this.
It was a beautiful journey of self discovery for Sofie that affirmed myself even though I’m older, have a different gender identity and a different set of circumstances. The section on trauma response needs to be listened to / read by psychologists / MH health workers because the way Sofie delivers it actually reaches into you and resonates.
The chapter on gender identity was so informative, I am cis female but I have met lots of people who have or are exploring their gender. I feel better informed, I understand more than I did and I didn’t feel talked down to. Juno’s story is incredible and via Sofie it gives a person, who has not needed to explore their gender identity a very rare, a very honest and raw insight. It is invaluable and as I write this review I can hear Sofie’s voice telling parts that stood out.
My absolute favourite was the ending - it literally mirrored my life (except my dog is called Bella & my drink is always something cold). I understand more about my own journey and what I took away from the book is what sex actually is and that actually it’s absolutely ok to not have sex unless it’s absolutely right for you (and the optional partner or even partners). I will remain happily celibate but next time someone says ‘HOW LONG? Is that even possible?’ I will be directing them to this book!
Bravo Sofie! More of you please - you are incredible.

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Such an important, beautiful, powerful book

I almost don't know where to start, I loved this book so much. Sofie Hagen has done something brilliant here: n their exploration of why they haven't had sex for so long, they touch on multiple different factors – including gender, trauma, bodies and neurodiversity – that affect people's relationships with their sexuality. Drawing on expert input as well as survey respondents and their own personal experience, it's a deeply personal but deeply relatable exploration, which is also funny as hell. It isn't glib, it isn't preachy, it doesn't pretend to have all the answers, but it's helped me learn a huge amount about myself in a safe, comfortable, non-judgmental space. Sofie's narration is brilliant, and really adds to the warmth and humour of the book. I've been recommending it to everybody I know – whoever you are, I think you'll benefit from listening

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Raw and hilarious

Whether the stories reflect your experiences or not, there is something unique to navigating sexuality as a woman that we all share and I found myself reflecting on my own life throughout. Just for that reason it’s worth listening to. It’s also funny as hell and not a bummer like some other books about female sexuality can be.

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Everyone needs to read this

Just beautiful, wonderful, curious. Sofie’s account of exploring our relationship with sex, why we have it, what it means, queer sex etc was EVERYTHING. Thoroughly enjoyed. This book is for everyone. Thank you Sofie!

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Great book!

Well researched, sincere and funny. Sofie blends her personal stories with broader experience and research. I learned so much about myself and different sexualities. A really important book that manages to be earnest but hilarious!

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This is not a self help book.

I bought this audiobook hoping it would help me answer some of the questions about my own situation, I thought there would be opportunities for me to reflect or suggestions to try. Unfortunately what I got was long detailed stories of Sofia Hagans relationship history, much of which was so bizarre that it was entirely unrepeatable, for example Hagen speaks of a long term affair type relationship she has with a man who was in another primary relationship, she was the secret, but it was all so bizarre, they never really touch, kiss, see each other etc. I’m not sure how many people can relate to these circumstances. By all means read this if you want to read an autobiography of sorts, but don’t expect it to help you answer the question “will I ever have sex again”

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Self indulgent, imaginary issues

Obsessed with creating labels , imagining issues and analysing the invalid conclusions.
Went down the wrong alley.
Maybe consider ways of getting out of your head and embracing your wonderful self and enjoying your life?
Laugh at yourself 😅

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1 person found this helpful