BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
Shopocalypse Saga, Book 1
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BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
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Narrated by:
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Wayne Mitchell
About this listen
Some predicted that the AI singularity would result in robots destroying the world. None of them ever understood that it was the sales algorithms they had to be afraid of.
After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised.
But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed.
It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie. Because BuyMort doesn’t care about anything except the bottom line.
Enter Tyson Dawes, a no-cares slacker with a traumatic past, two wrinkled bucks in his wallet, and a crap job caretaking a crap campground in the desert sands of Arizona. He had a deal with the world. He didn’t change it, and it didn’t change him. Seemed simple enough. He liked it, anyway.
BuyMort changed all that the moment it let loose a torrent of alien entrepreneurs upon his planet, intent on selling everything that hadn’t been tagged through the system and classified as his private property.
When a man has little, he cherishes it. When that little is lost, he’ll do whatever it takes and change into whatever he needs to be able to get that little bit back.
©2022 Damien Hanson and Joseph Phelps (P)2023 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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What listeners say about BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- R Crossan
- 24-02-25
A shopocalypse
One of the weirdest and best apocalypse books I've encountered. Tyson is a great MC and his personal struggles with himself lends additional weight to an already phenomenal story
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Scar
- 21-10-23
Good book
Enjoyed it, the snake ladies voice is a bit irritating but easily overlooked, funny but doesn't lean on it too hard.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Dol
- 04-03-25
Buy, Buy, Buy Smart Shoppers!!!
Oh dear your free audio book ran out!!! Don't worry though like all of lifes great deals you can continue this story for a credit and be a Super Smart Shopper like our hero is becoming. Don't let me convince you though, look at all these Smart Shoppers leaving 5 Star reviews if you need more proof. Oh yes be like me and support our overlord BuyMort the best place to get all your audible needs!!!
Sorry couldn't resist now onto my serious oppinion Don't pass this up, its a great start to a series with some impressive ideas as its backbone all neatly bundled in chaotic humor. Overall I'm impressed and will be moving straight onto the next like a Smart Shopper.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 24-06-23
SUPPER DOOPER, ONE GREAT TIME SPECIAL OFFER
in summary Just buy it, it's great! BUY NOW, BUY FAST, BUYMORT!!!
The Plots well thought out and build's to a good climax. Out our cast of characters are all individual, fleshed out and distinct, they all fulfill specific roles and help support and flesh out, our main character. They're all flawed and dialled up to 11 but funny, inventive and interesting, with there own potential for development. The characters motivations and ideologies, however flawed they might be, drive the story. Not just forced by the plot and characters just being stupid; and well, when people are stupid, there are immediate and often permanent consequences.
Giant interdimensional scorpion anyone? BUY Bug BASH, your insta kill, guaranteed 4 out of 5 stars, Scropio Murdinator 3000, only 200,000 morties or your aunties right arm.
BuYMoRts and uncaring dictator, who just wants those sweet, sweet sales and a growing market, no matter how many people it kills along the way! Amazon, eBay, Microsoft, Google and Nestlé all rolled into one! Walmart but with a piramid scheme religion, what's not to love!!! The books bloody, funny, buy it, BUY MORE!
I had written a longer / better review but I accidentally backed out of that and it auto deleted, so this is what you get.
Thanks the for the great listen!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Marc Andrew Julein Holmes
- 22-10-23
One of the most unique sci-fi story’s
The concept of a laisser faire capitalist society enable by a multi dimensional nano tech ai is unique!
The story is well written and with the right amount comedy. if you enjoy Dungeon Crawler Carl’s rough American faces the end of the world with resolve then you will enjoy this book.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- connor
- 25-05-23
GET THIS BOOK!
For all lovers of lit RPG this one is for you another excellent podium audio production with a stellar narrator to boot can't wait for the rest of this series keep them coming
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Joe mellor
- 19-05-23
WOW!!
I loved this book so much .. I want more GIVE ME MORE !!!.. when is the next 1 coming??? .. I can't wait ..
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- JK
- 22-11-23
Excellent Performance and Story
I saw this as a twist on those shopping channels on Sky TV growing up and had many laughs. The narrator was FANTASTIC and I will definitely get into book two!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- LGKM
- 11-08-23
Give it the time it deserves!
Not all audio books are great, some never really get out of the blocks. This one is a builder! I almost put it down a couple of times but let me tell you, it is very worth it! I was very happy to discover there was a second one 😃
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- SystemState
- 21-08-23
Looking forward to the next book
I hate BuyMort, but the series is excellent and I've absolutely love book 1.
Love the concept that the System that arrives is basically a huge shopping system. It's not after making people the strongest or most cunning, it just wants people to buy stuff and make a profit doing so. It brings an awful and horrendous existence to where ever it arrives, how can you not hate the BuyMort system.
Wayne's narration is excellent and I love how he makes the priest sound like they are praising the system each time they mention it
Looking forward to starting book 2 😀
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